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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 5, 2017 11:04:02 GMT
A multi-level tavern in the gargantuan courtyard of Harrenhal, the Mountain can only be 'scaled' by the purchase and consumption of an increasingly absurd amount of alcohol. Making it to the top without tumbling down is a great achievement....supposedly. No one's yet successfully walked back down.
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 5, 2017 22:58:55 GMT
They stood in front of the huge tavern, she read the sign,"The mountain of ale, huh?" She chuckled, finished her rum, the empty bottle crashed to the ground,"I'll climb the bitch."
"Looks like a good place. C'mon Jaren?"
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 5, 2017 23:12:52 GMT
The dullard stared at it. "It is made of wood and dirt," he said reasonably. They walk up to the ground floor and a man looks at them. "Names?" He asked. "And how many drinks? You pay before you drink here on account of the danger."
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 5, 2017 23:17:07 GMT
Naomi shook her head, if she didn't like that bastard so much she would've killed him by now. She didn't answer him, but replied to the man,"Naomi Harlaw... Captain Naomi Harlaw", she shoved Jaren,"and this is... Jaren."
"I'll be taking about 30....", tossing him the coin,"And he'll have none. He's too fucking stupid to drink."
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 5, 2017 23:23:40 GMT
The man catches all forty coins she had to toss. "Thirty?" He asked. "That's over a sixth of your weight," he said dubiously. "We don't sell pisswster swill here." A man came behind him.
"Let er pay, Will," he said. "No refunds for a reason." He handed her an ale that was strong and heavy. "I'm Jaynes," he said. "Nice meeting you cap'n."
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 5, 2017 23:27:04 GMT
"If I lose you get to keep my money, but.."she takes a swig of the ale, making a smile after the taste,"Don't underestimate because I'm a woman." She gives Jaynes a winking smile and takes another long swallow.
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 5, 2017 23:30:21 GMT
"It ain't the woman thing. We serve ales that are a drink and a half in size," he laughed. "Pints are alfor little children. At eight drinks you gotta climb the ladder," he points to a rickety wooden ladder that looked like death waiting on the top end. "But good luck!"
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 5, 2017 23:40:39 GMT
"Good thing I'm not a child then, seems a shame to waste it like that. This is good ale." Looking at piece of ladder he was pointing at, she nodded,"Hmmm, only eight?"
"Well it's a good thing I came here to have a little fun then."
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 6, 2017 0:06:22 GMT
"That's just the first rung," Will noted. "The floors get more rickety as they get higher." The first ape goes down smooth, but in its good taste lie the seeds of the destruction of everyone who attempted the climb, for the carbonation is soft but the alcohol content is dangerously high for a twenty five ounce beer.
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 0:25:29 GMT
She finishes the first drink,"Are you trying to make me feel confident?" Signalling for another,"I don't get the feeling that you are", she smirked.
"But we'll see."
"Wouldn't be my first time being drunk off my ass and falling down."
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 6, 2017 3:09:08 GMT
The man handed her a second ale. Naomi sees people playing five finger fillet and one messes up, impaling his ring finer as everyone laughs.
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 3:11:49 GMT
She joins in on the laugh,"Fucking idiot, shouldn't play the game if you don't know what you're doing."
The ale still tasted good as she drank it greedily. "This tastes a sight better than what I had at the last place."
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 6:20:52 GMT
Geralt visited the establishment, having heard tales of the contest from the locals, though his intent was to observe the spectacle rather than tackle it himself. He had no desire to shame his house or knightly order by getting piss drunk and making a fool of himself.
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Post by Lady Abigail Lannister on Aug 6, 2017 10:25:52 GMT
Ser Dustin Crakehall entered the tavern, his large frame dressed in simple black leathers, face unshaven. He looked around before making his way to where the drink was being served, A grin on his face.
"Right then! I suppose I'll try to climb the mountain!"
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 6, 2017 11:15:42 GMT
After giving the coin, Dustin gets a giant ale. A loud woman is near him, on her third cup and clearly feeling the effects. "You're a big one," the barkeep said. "Hope you don't break the ladder!"
Naomi is halfway down her third drink when the next contestant starts, and a man the size of a house begins drinking next to her, quaffing his first ale in twenty or thirty seconds. All the ingredients for projectile vomiting are now present.
/
Geralt, meanwhile, watches fifty men and women falling down an artificial hill as they seek to make it to the third level, and it is truly disgusting as they roll over the vomit of the failures before them. "My dear cousin," Florys said, coming up next to him, "however can you watch this grim spectacle?"
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 18:54:23 GMT
More people started to enter now as Naomi guzzled her new flagon of ale, she notices the large man taking his next her. "Hello handsome, enjoying your ale, I see."
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 19:15:46 GMT
"I figured I should get accustomed to the sight of this lot on their backs before the joust, cousin." He ordered an ale, of a size fit for a normal human being. "Besides, unlike the lists, it's not unsportsman conduct to laugh when it happens here."
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 19:20:24 GMT
"It's never unsportsman to laugh at anything",she replied jumping into the conversation,"especially if it's funny." Studying him,"But you seem the sort who looks like he needs a few to loosen up regardless", Naomi drunkenly chuckled, almost done with the third.
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 19:25:16 GMT
"And you seem the sort who is a drink or two away from a tumble herself," Geralt raised, his glass to the interrupting Ironborn woman, having expected such rudeness from their kind. "I will be sure to laugh heartily then."
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 6, 2017 19:31:07 GMT
"I figured I should get accustomed to the sight of this lot on their backs before the joust, cousin." He ordered an ale, of a size fit for a normal human being. "Besides, unlike the lists, it's not unsportsman conduct to laugh when it happens here." "If you want to see them on their backs just offer them two silver coins and lower your trousers," Florys suggested. She leaned in and whispered, "or just blow a kiss at that one." She leaned back and smiled and spoke again. "When you've had your fill, my dear, I met some friends that I think you'll find of interest. Much more sportinnconversation." |
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 19:31:49 GMT
She nodded in reply to him,"Wouldn't bother me any..." Taking another swallow,"be it falling on my ass or laying on my back, I planned for a good time." Naomi raised her mug in return to the Ser Whateverhisnameis.
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 19:53:09 GMT
"If you want to see them on their backs just offer them two silver coins and lower your trousers," Florys suggested. She leaned in and whispered, "or just blow a kiss at that one." She leaned back and smiled and spoke again. "When you've had your fill, my dear, I met some friends that I think you'll find of interest. Much more sportinnconversation." "You have become bawdy in my absence, cousin," Geralt remarked, in a playfully chiding tone. "And here I thought it Lilith that was the bad influence on my dear sister." He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the mention of her new friends. "Well I suppose it is my responsibility to show all your acquaintances what a real Gardener looks like." She nodded in reply to him,"Wouldn't bother me any..." Taking another swallow,"be it falling on my ass or laying on my back, I planned for a good time." Naomi raised her mug in return to the Ser Whateverhisnameis "Then I sincerely hope the gods do not laugh as well, for our plans are their jests," he replied, taking a hearty quaff of his ale at the Ironborn woman's frankness. "Though it seems as if you have prepared for every eventuality." |
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 19:56:03 GMT
"Oh fuck the Gods", she laughed,"I'm not here for them. I'm here to get drunk... And have a little fun." She met his swallow with her own again, licking her lips after,"and I plan for damn near everything, if I can't I just go along with it."
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 6, 2017 20:52:56 GMT
"Highgarden isnso dull now," she said. "Your sister just runs around and fights and kills your bannermen, and your brother has the personality of my least favorite type of flan." She nudged him. "So one adapts to changing circumstances. But I am currently standing with my right shoe touching vomit, so the sooner we leave the better my mood."
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 21:01:11 GMT
"I'm sure you'll be praying to those gods you blaspheme when you attempt to climb that ladder," Geralt remarked, standing. "But you'll have to excuse me. It seems my cousin requires an escort elsewhere, as I would would hate for her mood to sour. I wish you the best of luck in your contest Lady...?" he left the opening for her introduction, though felt affording her a noblewoman's title may have been generous.
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 21:09:08 GMT
"I'm sure you'll be praying to those gods you blaspheme when you attempt to climb that ladder," Geralt remarked, standing. "But you'll have to excuse me. It seems my cousin requires an escort elsewhere, as I would would hate for her mood to sour. I wish you the best of luck in your contest Lady...?" he left the opening for her introduction, though felt affording her a noblewoman's title may have been generous. "Never a Lady", she grinned, "Naomi Harlaw... Captain Naomi Harlaw.." "and you are?" |
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 21:15:49 GMT
"Prince Geralt Gardener," he replied cordially, offering Florys his arm as he spoke with the reaver. "You have a ship then, captain?"
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Post by Naomi Harlaw on Aug 6, 2017 21:19:42 GMT
"Prince Geralt Gardener," he replied cordially, offering Florys his arm as he spoke with the reaver. "You have a ship then, captain?" "Why of course, your high.... Prince,"she answered in slick tone,"what Captain doesn't?" |
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Post by Prince Geralt Gardener on Aug 6, 2017 21:23:51 GMT
He resisted the urge to list the numerous captains who lacked ships: captain of the guard, captain of the gate, etc.
"Well I hope you make it back to it in one piece," he smiled, in parting. "It is all good fun until a drunkard drowns in the lake."
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Post by The Forgotten God on Aug 6, 2017 21:26:00 GMT
Florys took his arm and let him lead her away. "To the lodge," she said. She let them finish their ridiculous pleasantries.
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